Updated: Sep 16, 2019
Recently, a focus group revealed insight into the thoughts of rap fans on Cardboardi B’s new music. Here’s some of what was said about “The Grand Ole USPS”:
- “Honestly, te [sic] entire song is just weird. The instrumental and vocalist are really weird.”
- “Such an awful track. This is really bad. The vocals/instrumentals/beats and lyrics are all just really bad… I would never put this track on a playlist, it is so bad.”
- “The guy singing was horrible. I really couldn’t even understand what he was saying. The melody was terrible. I can’t believe anyone would but [sic] this song or listen to it.”
- “Might be one of the weirdest songs I’ve ever heard.”
- “He sounds a bit manic on the track here. It is uncomfortable.”
- “This is literally a song about the post office, it’s funny, but is definitely not a “real song” by any means of the definition.”
- “The vocals to this song grate on my nerves immediately. I didn’t care for the lyrics, they were horrible and somewhat offensive. It was a weird cross between early Eminem and Weird Al.”
- “It’s sort of like if Weird Al decided to write a dirty song about the post office.
Off to a rough start to say the least. But how did “Packing Heat” hold up amongst these tough critics?
- “The vocalist is… weird. Just kind of sounds like he’s yelling a lot.”
- “This is weird and overall different but not in a good way.”
- “I dislike how the artist sings…”
- “This song is very awkward! The lyrics were just absolutely strange and crazy! I was very displeased with how this song came out. I didn’t even feel this was a great song to be produced on air.”
- “This song is strange. The lead vocalist has a bad voice…”
- “The vocals style was annoying, and did not go with the music at all.”
- “The vocals are strange.”
- “The instrumentals to this song are really nice, too bad the wrong artist is on the track… The main vocals are really horrible.”
- “The thing with Weird Al is that the whole family could listen to his specials. There is too much cussing on here for the whole family to listen.”
Oof. The critics were none to kind on this round, eh CB? Well, better luck next single, after which we will have our normal reviews, as well as a review breakdown of the first three singles from legendary writer and a graduate of Emerson College, Mr. Bernie Sack!
UPDATE: Mr. Bernie Sack is unavailable to write a review, and as such will be replaced with an alternative writer. God, I hope he's a kind soul, for CB's sake...